There is one simple thing you can do to improve communication within your family. Don’t talk around corners, through walls, or doors. It’s really tempting to do, especially in close quarters. Are we too lazy to get up and walk to the next room to ensure our communication is effective? It’s silly to project your voice from one room to the other when all you have to do is stand up and walk a few feet.
The weight of your own words and your capacity to listen to the other person is greatly enhanced with eye contact. There several great reasons why you should be in the same room with the person you are speaking with:
- When you’re talking through walls, the fidelity of your voice is greatly diminished. You have to strain your ears to listen. You’re more likely to miss a key phrase or word.
- Raising your voice to be heard around corners limits any linguistic dexterity you may have. We’re rarely as eloquent when we yell.
- If you’re sitting down, your voice loses clarity and projection, impairing you even further. You didn’t see Luciano Pavarotti sitting down when he sang.
- If you stand up and walk into the same room as the person you’re talking to, it puts the focus on communication, and away from your multi-tasking. This is a big part of being a good listener.
- Getting up and walking into the other room burns extra calories.
- Communication is the foundation of all relationships. When it breaks down, so does the relationship.
- If you value what you have to say, then it’s worth the effort. Even if it means going up a flight of stairs.
- You reduce instances of “What?” and having to repeat yourself. This may actually save you some time.
- You can observe body language clues that your child received the message or understood it.
There is a big difference between making noises with your mouth and and actually communicating. If communication is so important, why give it a half-hearted effort? If you think your parental wisdom is so important, back up your words with some solid eye contact.
You can sell your teen on this concept by stating the benefit to him or her. They’re the ones complaining that you don’t understand what they’re saying. Give them the means. Sitting or standing face-to-face will greatly improve verbal communication with them. Try it with your children and your spouse. Leave a comment and let me know how much your communication has improved.
If you’re frustrated with a teen who tunes you out, think about your own behavior. When you’re talking to your teen, are you otherwise engaged at the same time? Do you find yourself more concerned with how you’ll respond than what the other person is saying? Your child is like a mirror.
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